Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Randomize
