You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Randomize
