I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
