3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
