Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Randomize
