I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
