i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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