Who did Billy Mays play for?
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
