I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just fucked me for my cheese.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
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