God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
