i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
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