I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Randomize
