Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
