BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
