i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
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