Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
