i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
