Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Randomize
