You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
