If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Randomize
