What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
