my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Randomize
