all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
