I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
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