Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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