I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
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