Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
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