I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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