He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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