I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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