wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
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