shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
babies were throwing up all over the place
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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