my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize