I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize