I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
50% drunk capacity currently
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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