Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize