I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
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Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
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he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
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is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.