Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(302): View more from Delaware

I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.

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(305): View more from Florida

Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.

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(818): View more from California

So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice

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(630): View more from Illinois

This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax

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23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
Read it at the TFLN blog
(+44): View more from United Kingdom

Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.

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(973): View more from New Jersey

Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.

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(+61): View more from Australia

So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....

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(732): View more from New Jersey

is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?

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(647): View more from Ontario

I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.

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