I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
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I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara