So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
