wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
25 Porn Addicts Admit Their Biggest Pet Peeves
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.