I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
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You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
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You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.