I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
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Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
she smelled like a LAN party
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
That's an oxymoron.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
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max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Bring me that man meat
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.