if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
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You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
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