She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
