I wanna passion pit in your ass
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
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By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
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DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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