I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
