You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Randomize