They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
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