I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Randomize
