if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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