the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
