Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Randomize
