That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
