dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize