Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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