Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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