I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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