He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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