I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
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he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
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He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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