I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize