no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
